I have decided that I am confused with society. Maybe I was born in the wrong generation. Maybe I am misguided. Maybe society has gotten lost. I really do not know.
Way too often, I read, watch and hear stories of people who have been on the receiving end of some very bad things. I see people struggling to get by day to day. I watch and hear about people whose lives ended in a tragic way. I hear many stories of people down on their luck. As alarming as these stories that will not go away, I find myself deeply concerned that we do not address how people who are in these situations found themselves in said situations and we are making no real attempts to alter behavior that got them there.
For instance, there were two incidents in the news in the past few weeks of police officers killing citizens. We can debate who was right and wrong another day. For now, I want to address what put these people in the position that cost them their lives. In the case of Michael Brown, the behavior was robbing a convenience store, assaulted a clerk, assaulted a police officer while reaching for their gun and charging them. In the case of Eric Garner, he was selling cigarettes illegally (an offense he was arrested for several times) and resisted arrest. Tamir Rice aimed a real gun (bebe) at a police officer that pulled up and got shot. Where are the questions of why Mike Brown was assaulting people and robbing stores? Where are the questions of Eric Garner consistently being arrested for the same crime and then doing it again knowing he would be arrested? Where are the questions of what the hell Tamir Rice is doing with any real gun? Why was the officer Tamir on the job when he was referred to as immature at past law enforcement jobs?
I have known women who have been assaulted by men and men who have been assaulted by women. But we never asked what caused these events to happen. When I have a female tell me she was hit by her boyfriend, I immediately ask what happened. I talk to the guy and find out what happened before i judge anything. There have been cases where I have hit the other guy for being a piece of crap. But, there have been other situations where I have found out the woman hit the man several times and he had the right to defend himself. There have been times where one party caught the other in their bed with someone else. To these, I just walk away. Then, there are the women who are attracted to "bad boys". When women like bad boys, it is almost expected to end up in these situations. Why would you have a relationship with someone who is known for being violent and disrespectful and expect anything else from them. By this, women and men put themselves in these bad situations and this behavior should be addressed as well.
I see people who are unemployed and have trouble finding a job. But, we do not address that they have not had their resume looked at and do not adjust for a difficult job market. You cannot expect to compete with someone who has their resume looking proper. Unless you want to work in a McDonald's or Dunkin donuts, you cannot expect to get anywhere.
The past few weeks I had a young woman ask me for money to feed her 18 month old baby. But, the moment I started to talk about what got a seemingly intelligent woman to live in a rough neighborhood and in the situation she was in, she blocked me. I do not mind assisting people and I enjoy helping people. But, part of me helping someone is for them to address what needs to be done to better themselves.
I am not sure if we are lost as a society when it comes to personal responsibility or if we have found ourselves so narrow minded that we refuse to look at the whole picture. I really do not know. But, I know that until we do, we will never overcome our obstacles and we sure as hell will never overcome ourselves. We will never find peace if we keep looking for it in hostile situations. But, by changing our actions that put us in those situations, we can certainly positively impact our lives and the lives of those around us.
